This morning we have tendered off the third largest island in Thailand, Ko Samui (threw you there, how is that for a little blog travel fact?). I am grateful for a later and more relaxed start to the day after the previous three port days and early starts to our cattle herding experiences (yesterday’s took the cake and reminded me why I’m an independent traveler). This will only be a quickly (no pun intended on the blog’s title) as our leisurely breakfast on the balcony overlooking the islands has been done and it is time to get ready for the day ahead. No cattle herding booked for today as we are going to head off on our own and explore. I have a busy anal retentive (also no pun intended) agenda planned; shopping, eating, massages and beach lazing. Hopefully I will also find some internet to upload a couple of blogs.
Yesterday we were in Bangkok, and as my title says there was definitely no happy endings. Our ship docked about 2.5 hours out of the city centre so it was a very early start (6.50am) being prodded and herded into the city. The day felt constantly rushed as we were herded to see the famous golden Buddha that just so happened to be smaller than me! Next was off to the Royal Palace with an equally small emerald Buddha. The highlight here was Simon having to put on a pair of poo catcher pants over his shorts so that his legs were covered.
We had the smallest (yes shorter than me) tour guide with a cattle herding stick showing the group’s number two on it. Problem was she was so small that you couldn’t see the thing above her head as she held it on an angle swinging it around nearly knocking people out. She walked like she was on a mission and you didn’t dare stop to take too many pictures or you might lose her in the masses of people. I am gob smacked at how she didn’t lose any of the oldies who were even slower than me.
Next we were off onto another boat for a ‘river cruise’. The term ‘river cruise’ was thrown around quite loosely as it was a short and sweet zip up the river to see a couple of stilt homes then we were dropped off at a restaurant for lunch. Not a bad feed so I was feeling slightly more happy. The aircon was heaven after the hideous heat outside.
The highlight to the day was the sign that was on the steps of the tour bus. I am pretty sure that I can control peeing on a wall and pinching women’s breasts but I’m not quite sure if I can hold in the gases! I was so tempted to just try one so that I could break the rules. I wonder what the punishment would have been?
Unfortunately for Simon, in our 11 hours of tour, there was no chance of a Thai massage and there was definitely going to be no happy endings here! Tip to self: next time cruising to Bangkok take the option to visit Pattaya instead.
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