Don’t touch me!

If I thought yesterday was an early start (still etched in my memory), I was in for another rude (and early) shock this morning. The highlight of the cruise, the Panama Canal transit, was our destination for today. Apparently, securing a seat to watch the iconic transit through the locks requires one to literally rise before the sun comes up. This early morning rising is really making me consider the perks of becoming a vampire!

By 5.15 we were out of the cabin and grabbing a cuppa from a near empty buffet. At least at that hour there were no coughing and spluttering fellow passengers around. I may or may not have also grabbed a couple of pastries while in there. One really does need sustenance when the day starts so early! Well that is what I am telling myself.

It may have been pitch black when we walked out on deck, but the eager start paid off with front row seats. There would be no need for this short arse to try and look over people. It appeared that quite a few other passengers had the same idea and the seats were quickly filling up. There were several moans and groans from others as a contingent of particular passengers (I will keep the cultural background to myself) saved empty seats for others. This wouldn’t have been so controversial if they hadn’t reserved (hogged) over most of the front row and spread into the second row. I’m amazed other passengers didn’t tell the hoggers ‘too bad so sad’.

The controversy with this group continued throughout the morning as, not only did they want to take most of the seats, they also didn’t want anybody coming near them. As you would expect, others wanted to photograph this iconic journey and, as others leant over trying to capture a photo over the top of the chair hoggers, they may have slightly touched some of the hoggers. This then resulted in one particular hogger yelling and carrying on about “do not touch me”.

Cue: background theme music – Divinyls ‘I Touch Myself’.

This was teamed with her moving her chair back and forth then side to side, blocking anyone trying to get a photo. In between her rambling in her native language, the repeated yelling continued. Every part of me wanted to well and truly touch her to show her what touching really was! Being the pacifist I am (laughing at myself about now) I smiled at the poor man she was yelling at and decided in commiseration him, hubby and I would cuddle each other (yes a rare occurrence) which blocked the hoggers view past us. Hey, at least I didn’t touch her. Unlike the yelling chair hogger, we were kind enough to let the standing people behind us touch us so that they could get themselves some photos.

Today’s journey has taken us through the new locks. The commencement of the canal (which isn’t really a canal) took us under the Bridge of the Americas then two hours moving through the three locks. It really is amazing how the whole system works. It is a slow process though and we tapped out halfway through the second lock. A proper breakfast was calling!

Five hours after exiting the locks and cruising the canal that isn’t really a canal, I sit here writing my blog waiting to transit through the set of locks at the exit into the Caribbean Sea. I have even managed to avoid a nana power nap! This may have something to do with our afternoon sugar snack.

All cruise we have been saying we wanted to try one of the ‘Princess Premium Desserts’. These decadent looking desserts were added earlier this year as part of the Plus and Premier package perks. I’m not sure how adding two of these free a day could benefit anyone and be humanly possible. Although we have the Plus package, we are on the old-old package which doesn’t include them. Instead we paid the US$12 plus gratuities to try one. In all honesty, I wanted to snap some food porn. I really am letting the side down on food porn snaps this trip. It could quite possibly be eating before I think.

So what was our verdict on the premium dessert? It wasn’t near as sweet as we had anticipated. Sharing it between the two of us wasn’t too difficult. It was mainly vanilla ice cream (four scoops) with some key lime pie slices and strawberry topping. We may need to forgo dessert at dinner tonight. Please, please, please don’t have something I love on the menu!

Which fool booked this tour?

Before I get to yesterday’s port of call, I would like to share an observation from last night’s dinner. There’s a lot of hoo-ha that happens when ‘lobster night’ occurs on a cruise ship. Normally occurring on a formal night, one is required to dress up to be rewarded with a lobster. The lobster even gets dressed up with a fancy presentation over its own shell and a drizzle of fancy sauce. We’ve been cruising for some time and lots of things have changed over this time, lobster and formal night included.

No longer is the strictly enforced, over the top dress up required. This change actually comes in handy when you are travelling a long way and have limited luggage space. This being said, we still put in some effort though and do our best to doll up more than normal. It’s not only the human dress code that has changed. Those poor old lobsters have gone through a change of their own.

Once upon a time, if your heart (or waist band) desired, you could order plate after plate of scrumptious plus sized lobsters. It is clear that hard times have hit as the lobster is now limited to one serve unless you are willing to pay extra for more. The lobsters also appear to have gone through a growth problem and now resemble more of an oversized prawn. Don’t let my photo give you a false sense of perspective. That lemon beside my lobster was a tiny lemon. Four mouthfuls and Mr Formal Night Lobster was gone! This tight arse Tanya wasn’t paying for a another. Note to self: Hubby doesn’t eat lobster so hubby should order lobster so that loving wife can have an extra four mouthfuls of lobster. Lobster loving wife = happy life for hubby.

Yesterday was a VERY early start at our port just outside of the entrance of the Panama Canal, Fuerte Amador. Some idiot decided to book a shore excursion that had a meeting time of 6.45am. I’m not sure who would choose to do this when one is on a vacation and a restful lay in becomes mandatory. Being washed, fed and ready for this start time requires one (or in this case two) to be up at stupid o’clock. I can only point the finger at the travel organiser……myself.

So we were up at five, fed and ready to meet our fellow cattle for herding by the designated time. As it worked out, you might say that the early start actually worked in our favour. More to come.

Our cattle herding experience involved a bus tour of new and modern Panama City then a walking tour of old Panama. I would love to have had a range of photos to show you of the new city. Unfortunately, my ability to keep the top rim of my eye from visiting the bottom rim of my eye was challenging and the early start resulted in napping on the bus. I did manage to get a few photos prior to what turned out to be an expensive nana nap. Check out all of those ships waiting to transit the Panama Canal.

Luckily for me, my Power Nap (renaming from nana nap to avoid being confused with the retired), resulted in a refreshed Tanya just in time for our walking tour through the old town. I really loved this area of Panama and it was well worth the walk. In all honesty, if visiting again I would likely just get a taxi to this area. As always, there were walking challenged cattle (walking sticks and all) who paid for this tour and kept the group to a slow pace.

It was about this time that I realised why we had such an early start to the tour and was grateful. By 10am it was 33 degrees Celsius with a feel like temperature of 39. Boy did it feel like 39 and I was thanking the walking challenged for keeping the pace slow! And before you ask, yes, even in my sleep deprived stat, I remembered my deodorant this morning.

The old town is gorgeous with a mix of Italian, Spanish, French and American buildings. Some of the buildings had been beautifully restored and some were in ruins. If the heat didn’t cause me to instantaneously combust, I worried that entering the three churches we visited might. Rather than being struck down on entering, the cool air conditioning assisted in my brief religious conversion. Thank god for air conditioning!

After the guided walk we were given some time on our own to wander the old town. Feeling dehydrated and not having eaten for a whole 4-5 hours (a crime on a cruise ship), we decided to drop into a cafe for an empanada and drink. This time I tried the peppermint cucumber lemonade. Sounds disgusting but was actually refreshing in the heat.

On the bus ride back to the port, our tour guide spotted (very convenient) a sloth in a tree by the side of the road. The bus pulled over and the rhetorical question was asked “do you want to see a sloth”. I’ve never seen cattle move so quickly, me included. Out to the trees and we were all looking up into the branches with phones extended. With squinted eyes, you could see a glimpse of what appeared to be sloth fur hanging over each side of a wide branch. It looked like the branch was securely lodged in the sloth’s bum cheeks. I’m not convinced that the sloth wasn’t a fury toy that had been placed high in the tree. The tour guide clapped and made a range of noises to move the sloth (or possible fury toy) but he was staying put. So, I may or may not have seen a sloth’s bum cheeks in Panama.

This is definitely a place I had never considered visiting before and am so glad that we happened to get the opportunity. Perhaps one day we will make it back here. If only work and so many other cities didn’t get in the way!