Our day in Langkawi started with a rather damp beginning with our balcony resembling granny soup minus the wrinklies.
Rather than book a ship herding tour, we had organised a private tour with six other passengers via a discussion board on the Internet. I was somewhat apprehensive with the prospect that our day’s ‘tour group’ just might consist of crazies, bible bashers or granny soup members. I am happy to say that as it turns out they were all quite normal, all could walk without assistance and it appears all had full control of their bladders! Meeting up on the dock, informal introductions brought about the realisation that two of the group were actually quite ill with terrible coughs. With panic set in, I attempted to hold my breath each time the eight of us piled into the eight seater mini van. Holding one’s breath for an extended amount of time is actually quite a difficult task. You’ve got to love the circulation of germs via air conditioning and the ability this realisation has on developing hypochondria. As I sat in the back seat of the van I considered the option of drinking the alcoholic hand sanitizer I had in my bag. Deciding that I wouldn’t risk the unknown effects of consuming sanitizer, I opted to play Dr Sutton and sneakily used it on a regular basis on my hands and held my hands to my face and inhaled (I wonder if this could class me as a substance abuser???). Needless to say my paranoia set in and the first thing I did when I got back to the ship was use throat spray…..repeatedly!
While we are on the subject of the van I have to say that it was rather flash. My initial thoughts were a phrase I remember from my teenage years “When the van’s a rockin don’t come a knockin”. This van wasn’t your run of the mill bogan van, we had the blinged up, mirrored ceiling edition (pure class). I am just wondering why one would need mirrors on the ceiling. Perhaps I should have used the sanitizer on the seats!
Having agreed upon the itinerary we headed to the Langkawi cable cars for a pretty amazing ride up the mountain. Getting there early was such a great decision as the bus loads of ship tours (who had paid ridiculously inflated prices) arrived just as we finished. The downside to getting there so early was the rain cloud was on the mountain and the higher we went the more cloud rolled in. Like a scene out of Harry Potter (imagining Harry was in a cable car) we lost sight of anything and eerily glided through the clouds.
Our day then included some duty free booze shopping (number one son is going to love us) and a visit to Maccas. I can’t remember the last time I actually ate McDonalds and I have remembered why I don’t eat the stuff as it is pretty shocking. It’s funny how super fast connection to the Internet can convince you that a slightly cold, soggy looking chicken burger and chips is a culinary delight.
Next up was a boat trip to Pregnant Maiden Island named because of the island’s similarity in looks to a pregnant lady laying down. If you squint really hard, turn your head on an angle and have a vivid imagination you will just see it. Although I felt a sense of relief to be out of the germ invested van and in the fresh air, another sense of dread set in as the captain of the ship handed out life jackets and started up the engine. Imagine the crazy drivers of Lombok being placed in a boat and onto water. Bingo, the Indonesians are as talented at driving boats as they are cars (white knuckle express boat here I come).
Making it safely to the island, I was unsure if my pants were wet through involuntary fear peeing or from the amount of water that entered the boat through the crazy driving. Thanking the gods above (I’ll believe the bible bashers for today) that we had arrived safely we went to explore the island. There was a lovely fresh water lagoon in the centre of the island which was accessed by a replica version of the red arrow (that wonderful stair track at home that I force myself to do for exercise). Just what I felt like doing after I had apparently wet myself.
My bet is you are thinking that I just might have experienced the luck of having a seagull poop on me. Think again, you wouldn’t believe what panned out actually happened. The island had all sorts of wildlife, one of which being monkeys (I’m getting the feeling we are being stalked by the buggers). They say things happen in threes and I am starting to see some truth in this. Firstly, earlier in the day the disco van driver nearly flattens a monkey as it runs out across the road in front of us. Secondly, a woman walking along the island track obviously has a fear of monkeys (much to our amusement) and starts screaming. The more she screams the more monkeys appear. One could assist the lady and help her out by guiding her through the labyrinth of monkeys, but it was just too funny. I was starting to think her shrieks were a version of monkey language meaning ‘come here’. The cheeky things were stealing drinks and chips (and consuming them).
Lastly and to the point of my blog title, I had not taken swimmers to the island so rather than scare the tourists by swimming in my underwear (had a feeling skinny dipping was out of the question) I found a shaded spot under some trees and paddled my legs in the water. My tranquility was ruined by three monkeys who had decided to have a disagreement in the tree above where I was sitting (who thought monkeys could be so inconsiderate). When I get angry and fight I tend to yell or cry. One of these lovely little animals decided that when he got angry he would not excrete water out of his eyes but rather out of his arse. Yep you guessed it, one of the monkeys decided to pee right above me narrowly missing my legs. Unfortunately, splashes of monkey pee did manage to splash up on my arms……mmmm where’s that bloody sanitizer?
Tanya'stravelblog 